I really wanted it to be amazing...it's a post about the new year, after all. I wanted to encapsulate my year of 2011. I wanted to scrawl and scratch out all of it. The beautiful and the ugly. The tiny, stunning memories I wanted to hold on to forever.
I wanted to write about how much better 2012 will be, because it's always supposed to be 'better', right? Oh boy. I wanted to do that.
But, you know what? I'm not gonna.
Because, when I sat down to get it all out, to shower the interwebs with all of 2011's beautifully complicated intricacies as I bid it adieu and welcomed in 2012, all I could come up with was this:
"2011 was...hhmmm...like any other year."
Good, bad, ugly, serendipitous, beautiful, horrible, incredible, normal, new, old....all the time.
In 2011, I lived.
It's a strange place to be in, this 5-days-into-a-new-year sorta place. It feels like we're commanded to be either saying goodbye to the past or welcome the future with open arms. I mean we have all of the "year in reviews", the "best of" stuff, the resolutions, all of the "this year I will....", but where is the RIGHT NOW?
Well, you guys, here is my now:
Hearing my sweet love saying, "I love you. You make me happy." while he cooks a beautiful meal with this beautiful song filling my heart and my ears. Squeezing him tight in our cute, cramped, yellow paint filled kitchen. It's out of a movie and it's right here.
This sweet boy of mine and a small group of friends sure did have a beautiful time saying hello to 2012, though, I'll tell you what. But this year felt different. Maybe it's because it was 'drama'-free. Maybe it's because I'm getting older. Maybe it's just because. But this time it was all about being present. Being present and grateful for it all.
So, this year, if I 'resolve' to do anything, it'll be to be more grateful for all of the beautiful moments I experience every single day of every single week, in every single month in every single year....while they're happening ;)